Life has a way of sneaking up on me and scaring the crap outta me. Without warning, she grabs me from behind, puts me in a chokehold and craps on me. I either gasp for air and fight or . . . I concede defeat. Man I’d love to throw in the towel. Wave the white flag. Call time out. But I can’t. I can’t give up.
I feel like Life runs up on me outta nowhere. Like a bad stomach virus that has me in the bathroom with my belly twisted in cramps. She’s got me on the ground. Doubled over. Sweating and retching. She’s got my stomach rolling uneasily over peaks and valleys, draining my energy and wiping me out. She’s like a flash flood that sweeps cars away without warning. Her waters can be tsunami strength and overwhelming. And I can’t swim. I can’t even doggy paddle. And I don’t want to drown. So I look for the nearest tree branch and hang on for dear life. Or the nearest restroom for relief.
I know she’s gunning for me. Life wants to catch me off guard. Make me falter. Misstep. Trip me up. She wants me to totter like a toddler just learning to walk. She wants to stomp on my goals and extinguish my dreams. She wants to bombard me with her crap. Sometimes she gets her way. Sometimes she suffocates me with her stench. Sometimes she makes me weak and knocks me off my feet. Sometimes she has her way with me and I’m too weary to fight back. But only sometimes. For a minute. I may tip over and stumble like that teetering toddler, but I just get my balance back and keep it moving.
Crap happens and I’m trying really hard to roll with it. Life gives no forewarning. No heads up. No “Hey, watch out!” text messages or emails. No social media blasts. No DMs. That’s how she rolls. She just shows up, belly cramps and all. And when she does, sometimes she stays for a hella long time . . . bossy and bold with no manners and no home training. So, I put on my rubber boots and wade in her crap for a little while. I take measures to clean up the crap and sanitize my life. I open the windows and let fresh air in and her stench out. Eventually the crap does go. The air becomes breathable and life becomes liveable. Then Life tosses some really nice stuff in.
When Life’s good, she’s so friggin good. She’s good at parties. She’s great at Christmastime. She’s wonderful at concerts and movies and when I’m out with family and friends. She’s really terrific when my career is satisfying and she’s amazing at church and on vacations.
So when she comes at me, I try to remember the good times that show up after all the crap is gone, and I feel better. The deep breaths I can finally take after I liberate myself from her crap is exhilarating and satisfying . Until then, I just clean up the crap and it moving, all the while remembering . . . crap happens.
