Yep, it sucked. It all did. All of it. And it shouldn’t have happened. None of it. Not to you. You didn’t deserve any of it. Things weren’t supposed to go this way. You were sipping tea, minding your own business. Living life. You were blindsided. It all came up out of nowhere. Now you have nowhere to go. No one to turn to. And you don’t know what to do next. Where do you go from here?
The pain in your core is unbelievable. It prevents you from eating, sleeping, thinking or feeling. You. Are. Numb. It feels as if someone poured anesthesia over your body and paralyzed you right where you are. You can no longer move. Your feet are laden in lead. Every day is an out of body experience for you. Frostbite has settled into your daily routines and you just couldn’t give a crap. Not one iota. Not anymore.
Pity. That’s what you need. Pity. You want to roll around in a good, unhealthy dose of pity. You want to slather yourself in a cheap bottle of sorrow and woe is me and then you’d feet better. That’ll do the trick. You’ll just lay there and lap up a bowl full of misfortune. That’ll show them. That’ll show all of them.
Nope. Not happening. I won’t let it.
I’ll allow you to roll around in it for a minute. I’ll give you permission to lap it up for a second. I’ll sign off on the dark curtains you refuse to open . . . but only for short while. I’ll give you a pass to daydream about all of the woulda, coulda, shouldas you’re obviously replaying in your mind like a stuck vinyl record. I’ll let you live in it for a moment. But only for a moment.
You can’t stay there. You can’t fester in that. You’ve got to get up from it. You’ve got to remove those led boots and reclaim your footing. You may falter at first. Stumble a little. Teeter and totter a bit. Just put one foot in front of the other. Move.
Open those curtains. Let the rays of God’s fingers warm your cheeks. Let Him caress your soul until the frozen claws that squeezed your heart, melt completely away. Lean on Jesus and as you lay your head in His lap, the numbness that paralyzed you will give way to caring and sharing and loving and laughing, once again.
Your days won’t be hazy. Those clouds and that fog will lift. You’ll soon be one hundred percent present for each moment of every day. You’ll reclaim your body as yours and pity will now be your foe.
So, you’re allowed. Live in it for a minute. But don’t stay in it.
