JUST AN OIL CHANGE PLEASE

I swear sometimes someone puts life in a slingshot and aims that sucker straight at me. Is it just me, or is life seriously ridiculous sometimes? If you don’t believe me, just sit back and look at it. Study it. Forget world events for a minute and just look at what’s in front of you. Look at all that’s on YOUR plate.

For instance . . . what’s up with needing your car to get around, I mean seriously NEEDING your car and not merely WANTING a car, but not having the money to maintain it, because all you want is an oil change but the service department is trying to tell you a list of things that needs to be done to your car or else you’ll stall out in a ditch somewhere, thereby imparting the fear of God in your soul. I mean, all you wanted was a simple $29.99 oil change, not a new engine.

Or what’s up with needing to revamp your entire wardrobe because you haven’t bought clothes in so long, because kids and life and bills got in your way? You spent money on all of those things, but you REALLY spent a ton of money in the car repair shop so you wouldn’t stall out in a ditch somewhere, because you had the fear of God instilled into your soul by the service technician.

And what’s up with these two-day weekends? Clearly God forgot to make the week with an eighth day so we’d have one full day to just lay around and recuperate after being slammed the other five days of the work week, and STILL have two days left over to TRY and enjoy ourselves. Didn’t He foresee you’d need one day in the car repair shop to fix all the things the service guy keeps saying you need done to your car so you don’t stall out in a ditch on the side of the road somewhere, all because the fear of God was dropped on your head like poop from a flying bird?

And what’s with getting older and tired and achy and going to the doctor for a routine check up, and having the doctor tell you to go see some specialist because things are happening in your body that you have no control over? You’re hearing him but you’re also thinking about how to explain to your doctor that you have no time for specialists because you have to go take your car to the repair shop because the fear of God was cast upon you by the car fixer guy who doesn’t want you to stall out in a ditch somewhere on the side of the road. I mean you do have your priorities.

And what’s with all these angry folks nowadays? Is EVERYONE pissed or is it just me? Does everything really have to be a thing and set everyone off? If you search the internet, go on social media or watch the news, it sure looks like it right? Maybe it’s that these angry folks just had the fear of God sucker punched into their guts because they have a HELL of a lot of car repairs to do, so they don’t stall out in a ditch somewhere while coming from the specialist with old, out of date clothes, on a Saturday morning, after working all week, and being dog tired, because God forgot to put eight days in a week?

I dunno know bout you, but I think I need thicker, hurricane proof skin, and yards of bubble wrap, to protect myself from all the bruising I get everyday. I need to buy more plates so I can pile more stuff on top of what I already have going on. But I can’t go shopping right now because I’m on my way to meet my service guy. He says he realizes I have the fear of God in me, and he has NO idea why, but he’s REALLY concerned I’ll stall out somewhere, by myself, and be stranded on the roadside, in a ditch somewhere. Nice guy. He really cares.