How did I end up here? It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t on my radar. This wasn’t my plan. This about face was unexpected. It wasn’t sought after. It wasn’t needed. And it’s sure not welcomed.
So, how do I change the here that I’m now in? The here I’ve been sequestered to. Non-voluntarily shackled to. How do I get up from out of here, when all I really want to do is be over there. Start afresh over there. Be brand new . . . over there. Loving and living life over there. I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s not cool over here. It looks like so much more fun over there.
So, how do I get over there? What path should I follow? Which direction do I travel? What steps should I take? No clue. I have no friggin clue. Not one iota. None. I really don’t have any idea what I’m supposed to do to get over there. What I think I should do, maybe I can’t. And what I plan to do, maybe I shouldn’t. I’m at a loss as to what comes next and what my next move should be. No idea whatsoever. Clueless.
And once I’m over there, because I sure as heck WILL figure out a way to get over there, what do I do? Who will I meet? And will I even like it? Will I be glad I’m not here anymore, because then I’ll be where I’ve always wanted to be . . . over there. Will over there be everything I thought it would be? Everything I expected it would be cracked up to be?
Probably not.
But I’ll tell you this . . . I sure am gonna try my darndest to get over there. I’ll hike. I’ll climb. I’ll lose sleep. I’ll even take swimming lessons and paddle my way over there. But for daggone sure, one way or the other, I’m getting over there. On the other side of this right here.
And while I’m grateful for here, and the lessons I’ve learned (that I really didn’t want to learn) and the backbone that I’ve grown (that I really didn’t want to grow) I’d really rather be over there.
