Bad boys. Rude boys. Why are they so bad yet so good? They’re just like candy. They get in my teeth, stick there and cause some serious cavities. They’re like fried, greasy foods . . . artery clogging and bad for me but yet so daggone yummy. They’re like a jack-in-the-box . . . looks like fun on the outside, like a good time would be had, but wind them up and . . . SURPRISE!
So I spent a lot of time and energy on one said bad boy. Waaay down the line, I find out his entire demeanor, attitude, lifestyle, personality, character . . . all of it was a facade. And I mean ALL of it. What I thought was . . . really wasn’t. That kind and gentle dude I THOUGHT I knew . . . was a joke. And the joke was on me. The life I lived was fake. His words of sweet nothings were laced with the sweetest sugar and was unknowingly slowly rotting my inner core. The love I THOUGHT we shared was one-sided. My side. The truths I thought he told were a barrage of untruths. Lies on top of lies cascading south like dominoes in a tournament, destined to crash and go nowhere.
But god I love those dudes. The ones with a rough exterior, but oh so gentle in private. The ones who say all the right things, write all the right things, and take up for me on all the right occasions. So attractive. So addictive. So dangerous. So dumb of me! When am I gonna learn? When? When will my good guy radar function properly? When? It’s like I’m a glutton for punishment.
Don’t get me wrong. Not all bad boys are really bad. And not all rude boys are really rude. Most have NORMAL morals and standards they were raised with, by a NORMAL family, and actually ADHERE to. Most are NOT in perpetual heat. Most know how to be HONESET and FAITHFUL and live ONE single lifestyle instead of MULTIPLE ones. Most don’t waste their years and time, and friggin’ OTHER people’s years and time and money, putting on the performance of a lifetime, day in and feezing day out. Most have a conscience.
I’ll stop now cause I’m getting pissed.
So I’ve decided to go to a spa to begin my own personalized cleansing program that I’ve designed for myself, by myself, to remove all bad boy/rude boy tendencies from my being. First, I’ll soak in a mineral bath to remove all bad boy/rude boy impurities and revitalize my mind and body (the bad boy/rude boy’s fingerprints can leave lasting scars). Then I’m going to soak in a mud bath to clog all of my pores so I won’t be susceptible to any future sugar seepages that may slip into my core, while also removing the pain that was caused by said bad boy/rude boy. Then I’ll get a seaweed wrap to block out future, unwanted bad boy/rude boy advances and detox from past encounters. Lastly, I’ll have a full body peel to remove any lingering and future, unwanted, fetishes for rough-on-the-outside (but so-feezing-sweet on the inside) bad boy/rude boy attractions. I’m not sure about a colonic though. At some point it may be necessary to go deep into my core to flush out all the sugary impurities and unhealthy bad boy/rude boy preservatives that may be lingering there.
Ya’ll think I’m nuts? Maybe I am. But this personalized cleansing program, designed by me, just for me, will pave the way for the next non bad boy/rude boy dude that comes my way. LOL. God I’m dumb.
