TROUBLE

Oh boy. Here comes Trouble.

I hate being thrown off kilter. I really do. I hate having to adjust to whatever Trouble fastballs my way. Hate it. Just when I get over and through one thing, something else creeps up. It’s as if Trouble is about to pass me by but then suddenly changes its mind, does a double take, screeches to a dead stop, u-turns and comes back to torment me. It halts right in front of me, stopping in my tracks. Then, it reaches out and throws me for a loop. It tosses me this-a-way and that-a-way, shakes me up, then sucker punches me. Right in the gut. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Not one thing. So I stand there and take it. Like the soldier God mistakes me for. Like the cry baby I know I am.

Whenever Trouble sucker punches me, I go down for the count. I literally just lay there . . . at least for a moment. Or two. Or even ten. Most times I don’t even know what hit me. It comes at me so fast. Out of no-friggin-where. When it pops me, all I can do is shake my head and try to get my bearings. Once in a while I’ll get right back up and into my fighting stance, ready to retaliate and pounce back. Sometimes, I lay there a few more seconds (which is usually more like a few more days) and roll around in my crumbled mess. Other times, I curl into myself and shut down. Just exist. Right there. Where Trouble startled me. Not praying. Not thinking. Not moving. I pretty much mimic a sloth. Big. Long. Slow. Woe-is-me-like. I just lay right where I am because after that initial punch . . . no joke . . . I am stunned.

When the fog clears, I have no idea what happened and no idea which way is up. I mean, give me a break! I just cleared the last hurdle Trouble put in my way. I mastered and conquered the stumbling blocks Trouble set up for me before that. I even defeated all of the little hiccups and booby traps Trouble set up strategically for me along the way. Now this? Yet another obstacle course to run? Another hill to climb? Another detour from my plans? I swear, I can’t catch a break.

Once in a while, Trouble will give me a rest period to relax and recover. Times of peaceful routine and drama free living are always welcome. But, then there are times when Trouble just up and throws some new crazy my way, with no time out. No chill. This is when I get pissed. I mean, I get mad. Angry. And all I can think is that this right here . . . this punch I’m being dealt . . . this so cannot be happening right now. There’s no way God would allow this right here to happen, right now. No. Friggin. Way.

Yet, here we are. Again. Me and Trouble. Together again on this never ending cycle of ups and downs. You’d think Trouble would get motion sick and give up already. Resilient fool that Trouble is.

Welp, it seems as if Trouble is destined to be a frequent unexpected visitor of mine. Its never ending mission of causing chaos and havoc will forever ebb and flow. Sometimes its punches will hurt like hell. Sometimes they’ll sting. And sometimes its punches will be soft, and hopefully far and few inbetween. But nevertheless, Trouble is always there. Lurking. Just waiting to sucker punch me again. And I can’t stand it.

But, I am reminded that though I may cry like a baby, fold into myself, and get mad as a hatter when Trouble comes around, I too am resilient. I am that tree planted by streams of water, whose leaves do not wither and who will prosper. And I am no fool. I am a child of God. And I am trouble too.