Let go and let God? What does that even mean? Let go of what and let God what? I WANT Him to take the reigns. I WANT Him to steer the ship. I don’t want to be the captain anymore. So what’s taking so long? Why doesn’t He take the wheel already? I’m waiting. Hello? Anyone there? Crickets. Ugh.
I looked up my horoscope the other day (yeah yeah yeah, Christians don’t believe in horoscopes, I know I know I know). I was just curious if my birth month was associated with me having to be in control all of the time. Well, my description did make mention of control issues. The thing is that I don’t think I have any control issues at all.
I’m easy breezy, cool, calm, collected, fun-seeking, and laid back. I don’t need to control anything. Well, maybe just my career . . . and my kids . . . and my social life . . . and my finances . . . and my love life. But that’s all. Nothing else. I mean, I can’t control traffic. Or the weather. Or a few other things that seem to have slipped my mind.
OK so maybe I have a small problem with wanting things to go my way. Can you blame me? I’d like to know where my next paycheck is coming from so that I can pay my mortgage, because having indoor plumbing is a beautiful thing. I sorta need to make sure that my kids won’t go into the world and embarrass themselves or me. I’d like to have plans some weekends so I’m not just sitting around watching dust balls accumulate behind my doors. Yeah, there’s some things I need to control
The thing is . . . I sorta realized that I can’t control any of those things. Not one. I can’t control my job security. I can’t control my friends when we make plans and they wig out. I can’t control my kids once I’ve raised them and they’re set free into the world. I can’t control my finances when unexpected bills come due. I especially can’t control how much, how long and how wide someone will love me and be there for me. The only one who is stable and consistent and trustworthy and there all the time is God.
After years of trying to mold everyone, everything and every situation into the nicest, neatest, tidiest boxes, I finally get the let go and let God thing. So yeah. HE. CAN. HAVE. IT. ALL. All of my burdens, all of my problems, all of my fears, all of my everything. He can take it and run with it. I. DON’T. WANT. ANY. OF. IT.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not giving up. Nope. I may be a procrastinator but I’m not a quitter. I’m just giving it all over to Him. He wants it, He can have it all. And He does want it. I know He does. His shoulders are bigger and stronger than mine. For crying out loud He’s God! He carries the weight of the world whereas I can’t even carry my own baggage.
So during one eye opening weekend I decided that He can have ALL of my stuff. I hurled my bags at Him with rapid fire, one after the other, and as I chucked my crap at Him He caught every single piece of my flying luggage. I’ll still do all I have to do here on earth to enjoy my life but supernaturally, He can have it all.
